Leonardo | sweetie

sweetie

Leonardo | 27 Dezembro, 2004 13:30

Time goes by. Wounds get closed.

Here we are, apart from each other. I don't understand why our separation stroke you as a surprise. Maybe you had forgotten, maybe you hadn't taken my words seriously... Regardless, I've challenged the both of us, as a couple, to overcome our differences...and, for a single month, to make do and let our love prevail. We were on the verge of a fallout. I was about to leave you but you begged for me to stay, you said you loved me, you said you couldn't live without me anymore. I invoked ourselves to fight this war, the love war, together. One full month in peace, in decency, in respect. Sadly, one week later, the inevitable happened and you challenged me to abide by your lifestyle or we'd be history. Well... I guess that's what we are.

Once, a long time ago, when you were living with me in Boston and we started facing some problems, you told me: "... maybe, regardless of how much we love each other, we're just not compatible!" I guess you were right by then but I had to pay a high price to be proved wrong. I gave up *everything* to pursue life with you: relationships, work, the dream of living in the US and money, lots of it. To face a new culture, a new language, a new place. To face immigration and apply on my own for papers, for the right to work and live with dignity, for the right to build life with you. It was a bold move on my side. On your side, no less important, you've opened the doors of your house and life to me. Still, we were not meant to be.

To leave you, loving you so much, it had to be in a single strike. Believe me, it was *the* hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life (and you know I've done stuff...). Since I left you, not a single day passed by in which I haven't thought of you. Not a single night, without seeing you in my dreams, no matter how crazy they were. Nevertheless, I'm here, you're there, we're still alive. I am sorry for not being capable of being friends with you. I am not evolved enough to eventually see someone I love with someone else. It would be too painful.

You're not dead! I'll carry you in my heart and mind until my day comes. Please, blossom! Don't deny the world this lovely, kind and generous person I know you can be. You bettered me, thank you.

Love,

Chicoucou.